I previously mentioned that I would be doing my Don't Dead Open Inside posts on Friday, but instead... I will do them on Wednesday (alliteration be praised)!
However, given my recent realization that Walking Dead Wednesday is the day after I announced it, I am ill prepared to send you the next portion of DDOI (pronounced Di-doy if you will). I write my reviews as I watch through the episodes, and as of late I have been catching my wife up to season four and haven't taken a good look at season one.
This week I will do what I can, and I will post TWO DDOI's next Wednesday.
Today, you get lame zombie jokes. Enjoy!
Lame Zombie Jokes:
A priest, a mechanic, and a zombie walk into a bar. Only the zombie survives.
What if we have zombies all wrong, and the apocalypse happens, and their weakness is really their left elbow? Nobody would ever know... #HeadlessZombiesExist
What happens when a vegetarian turns into a zombie? It hunts for grains.
What happens when a CEO turns into a zombie? It hunts for gains.
What happens when a conductor turns into a zombie? It hunts for trains.
What happens when an athlete turns into a zombie? It hunts for sprains.
If zombies hunt for brains, do zomibes hunt for brians?
Zombies are only looking for brains. It's okay, I think you're safe.
Why are zombies always hungry? Are they afraid of starving to life?
Superman turns into a zombie; is he a "Man of Steel" or a "Man of Decomposing Body Parts"?
An awkward zombie walks into an ice cream parlor. After perusing their selection he asks, "Do you have any coconut?"
One of the workers, surprised, answers, "No, I'm sorry. We don't have any coconut."
Determined, the awkward zombie looks again, and after a moment asks, "Do you have any peach raspberry?"
The worker sighs and says, "No, we don't have any peach raspberry."
Disheartened, the awkward zombie looks again, and after a moment perks up. "Do you have any brains?"
The workers give each other disgusted looks before saying, "No, we definately don't have any brains."
The awkward zombie laughs and leaves the ice cream parlor.
If your child says to you when you leave for date night,
"Bye. Watch out for zombies and monsters."
You're doing it right.
Zombie Buffet Specials
Everything costs an arm and a leg:Four-knees pizza
Quesadillas with a whole-meat wrap
Buffalo Human Wings
New York-style pedestrian
Hand salad sandwich, made with 9-brain bread. As an alternate, you can have it on eye.
Vanilla, Chocolate, or Strawberry Eyes Cream
Eye brownies
Handful of eye candy
*Every meal ends with a stick of chewing thumb to freshen your breath.
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