Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Top Ten: Worst Feelings in the World

   We all have those moments. You are having a good day, and then something comes along and makes your stomach just sink to your stomach. It's nothing that is going to ruin your life, it just ruins that moment of your day.
   These are the feelings where, no matter what you are doing, you try to avoid. When you run into one of them, you hate yourself for it. These aren't feelings like those from tragic accidents, but those of "oh crap" moments.
   Next week will be my Top Ten Holidays, but for now, let us remember the stomach stirring feelings of fear.



10 - The "Broken bag of cereal" feeling
   The first thing I like to do every morning when I wake up (or whatever time of day I wake up), is eat a bowl of cereal. I don't like any complications, but sometimes I have to start a new bag. I would open the bag by sticking my thumbs in the "Bunny-ear" corners and pulling apart (I had long given up trying to open it using the center folded-over piece).
   Roughly 30% of the time, the bag would rip in some unholy way to form a mass of tentacles wrought forth from the remains of an ex-inanimate object, whose twisted tentacles would steal the cereal you are trying to pour and save them at the bottom of the box. Very few things are worse than watching your cereal miss the bowl for various reasons due to the tentacles birthed earlier.

09 - The "I just started preparing a meal, and I'm missing things" feeling
   Following the food theme, we all have those days when you get hungry and you feel like preparing something snazzy. I like to make a nice sandwich, with mayonnaise turkey, ham, bacon and cheese etc.
   I don't like putting the mayonnaise on the bread, and then finding out that we don't have any meat to put on it (pouring a bowl of cereal and realizing that there isn't milk isn't as bad, but it's still bad).
   Mayonnaised bread (or breaded mayonnaise) can't be put back where it belongs, and can't be truly enjoyed. I hate to waste food, but I can't choke down a mayonnaise sandwich (even if I added cheese).

08 - The "I'm sweating" feeling
   Anyone who knows me, knew that this was going to be on my list. I hate sweating, and I hate the feeling just before sweating, and I hate that feeling where I think I'm sweating but I'm really not.
   I constantly go out of my way to avoid sweating, it makes me feel gross. Even worse is when you are running around in the humidity and you get all tacky. Sweating is the grossest most-useful thing besides pooping.
  
07 - The "Oh my gosh, what did I just say" feeling
   We all have those days where we are saying something innocent, but circumstances decide to change that innocence. Timing and speaking too fast are the biggest culprits in my book. It's times like these where I wish I had a restart button.
   I do a mental face palm and hope that the other person doesn't notice. When/if they notice, I apologize and continue the conversation as though it hadn't happened.

06 - The "This person is obviously looking for an answer, but I wasn't paying attention" feeling
   This happens primarily at school. The teacher is talking in a lecture and asks a question; you know it by the tone, and when nobody answers you realize that the teacher asked you. This also happens on dates where your date is talking about something that you do not at all understand (or care about).
   Whenever this feeling happens, something bad is about to follow. The only way to avoid that is to learn to listen; but where's the fun in that right (NO! That's wrong! That's very wrong. Learn to listen)?

05 - The "Could have made it, no I can't, but I could" feeling
   This is traditionally felt when you are driving in the car:
You stop at an intersection and a car is coming, preventing you from going; you stay and wait for the car.
A few moments go by, and you realize that you could have successfully made the turn if you had gone before, but now you wait to let the car go first.
A few moments go by, and you realize that you STILL could have successfully made the turn if you had gone even then, but now it's far too late and the car is passing you right as you say this...
   I hate when that happens, and it happens quite often (I prefer this feeling to cutting someone off every day though).

04 - The "I was going to break up with you, but now you got me some really expensive present, so now I feel like a jerk" feeling
   I can't tell you how many times I've tried to break up when this happened (I lied, I can, twice). It is one of the worst feelings in the world.
   Breaking up is hard to do in the first place, you can't do it during the date because then the date will stink, and you can't do it after because then they'll think they did something wrong during the date, you can't do it over the phone (this one is obvious), but in person you fear for your life (maybe that's a little extreme). The worst is when you are about to break up with someone, and you've been trying to find the right time to do it, and the day you are going to do it, you're significant other happens to have tickets to a concert or a game, or they bought you a random present.
   YAY! wait... ...now what ?

03 - The "I know I'm supposed to know you, but I can't think of your name right now" feeling
   One of the worst feelings for me, is knowing somebody, but not knowing their name even though I should. Usually this happens at work with coworkers, they stop by and say hi and ask about my family and I'm like "Hi they're doing good... yeah..." It's awkward because I know the person, and it's a perfectly normal conversation, but I just can't remember their name.
   I always appreciate talking with other people, so this is one of the more frustrating feelings, because I'm too stubborn to ask and I'm too afraid to guess. Needless to say, if any of you start or attempt to have a conversation with me, and it gets awkward this is probably the reason why.

02 - The "I leaned too far back in my chair, and I can't stop myself from falling" feeling
   If you haven't yet experienced this feeling, you are one of the very few people that haven't. This is the most embarrassing feeling for two reasons, 1) Someone is always there that has said not to lean back in your chair, and 2) You know you are about to attract an enormous amount of unflattering attention to yourself.
   The worst of this feeling, is sitting sideways in a wheeled chair that can lean back. If you lean back and someone pushes you down further, for that brief moment you feel like you are going to fall face first onto the floor (due to the already skewered perception of being sideways).
   This is also a very popular prank at school, so watch out chair tippers.

01 - The "My ride left without me" or the "I think we forgot someone" feeling
   Honestly, if you've ever experienced this, enough said.
   Also, if you are the cause of this feeling, you should feel sorry. You shouldn't be ashamed, it happens, but you should feel sorry.


==xx==

   Going back on this Top Ten, I really dislike the five sentence limit, from a writing perspective. Somethings really can't be explained in only five sentences. But, at the same time, I don't want to write another novel anytime soon. So I am putting it up to a vote. Partially, because I want to know, and partially because I also want to setup a poll (What? I'm curious 8^p )

   Merry Christmas Eve Day! The holidays are almost done for the year. Next week I'll reveal my Top Ten Favorite Holidays!

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